I came late… reason being that the people who I was to go with didn’t message me… and apparently decided not to go… I was resolved to not going anymore, until for one last try, I messaged Ajha, as I was having dinner at home… anyway, I have a gift for him… he was at the party… to make a long story short, 45 minutes later, I was at SM Hypermart in Tiendesitas, the party is at the back… Decagon Silver City?
First thing first… I think I am inlove… with whom… the first person, other than Ajha, that I saw in the party… I was to sign up and he was there, manning the registration table with some other guys... he was wearing an all black ensemble, just a black hooded vest for his top… I pretended he does not exist… I didn’t even look up, just went to the list of names to look for mine and sign up… and that was the end of it… I was picturing a night when suddenly there’s that song by Beyonce—“sweet dream”—and suddenly, I will turn and there he would be… he would say hi… and I would be powerless on his charm but he would be nice and would want a moment with me that both us would want to last forever…
Who am I kidding…?
Of course, everybody is all over him… the party is a drag… the only highlight was Ajha winning an Ipod touch… otherwise, I rather stay at the terrace where I could smoke… no dancing, alcohol is for sale—I don’t drink so I don’t care—but ice tea is like from our office pantry…
Why do I do that…? Me, trying to act as if he does not exist… as if he does not matter… hiding…? I’m gay, I should be all over him… he meant the world to me… why don’t I just show it…? What am I so afraid off…? Losing him…? I don’t have him…?
Anyway, I was at the terrace hanging out with some people I know when I saw a black car pull over, and he hopped in… and as quickly, it zoomed away… merry Christmas to me, merry Christmas to you… merry Christmas everybody…
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