It lasted for more than a year… I was 21 or 22, fresh from the province… he is a little bit older, he was 29-30… we came across each other over at MIRC… decided to meet and there we were… much of the credit goes to him, why the relationship lasted for more than a year… if there is something that I have done that contributed to the longevity of the relationship, it would just probably my naivety then… yes, I was once upon time innocent… but most of it was him… I don’t think it is because he gets me… my mentally, how I work, my quirks… but I think he just was a patient guy…
Or, as I am experiencing right now, he wanted to make the relationship work… probably, he feels he was too old for games already or short, failed relationship after the other is no longer fun… it’s no longer cute… if you turn thirty, at least speaking for myself, you want your next relationship to work and be stable, steady with one person… you get the feeling that, you have to get it right already… and that was me then to him… it was to him, no more games…
I was telling this to Allan, someone who thought I looked damn hot, basing on my pictures and can’t believe we have not met considering we worked in the same company, same building, just different floor… finally, after almost a year, I decided it was time—I forgot my house keys, and have to wait ‘til the sun is up to go home so not to wake people in the wee hours and be growled on…
And then I told him about the TL from the other program, the other site… How it lasted for five months… We barely see each other… barely made time for each other… that is the reason it lasted that long… we were together for five months because we were never really together…
Prior to that, there was the guy from my previous call center, the reason I left... the very cute and vain Mark, who when we finally broke up said to me, “di ko maramdaman na kailangan mo ako (I can’t feel you needing me),” to which I laughed and made him hate me…
The thing with Mark was his vanity… or perhaps, his insecurity… he is very cute, the moment I saw him, I was drooling over him… but I know my place, I know he is way out of my league… everybody is crushing over him and so, I figured, why would he go for me…? So I was not paying much attention to him… little did I know, that was the formula to get his attention… sort of, everybody is throwing themselves to him, why not me…? Vanity, he wanted everyone to like him, want him… and so he went to get me, to which I obliged willingly… this even if I know sharp looks were thrown to me, eyebrows go to orbit when I pass by… when he got me, no longer did he want me, and went flirting with other people in the same floor where I am taking calls…
So I knew back then, I figured out the deal… and learned not to care and just be thankful that I still get to sleep with one of the hottest guy in the office… I decided to take it as a privilege… and not care if he is dating, sleeping with someone else in the office… if he wants to leave, leave, if he wants to stay for a few more, that’s fine… I didn’t want to care… thus his infamous line to me when he finally decide we should part ways and that I laughed on it… which led me to resign…
Then there was Tyler… who I wouldn’t want to get naked in front of… a fitness instructor that he is, he sports a six pack abs, nicely chiseled arms, shoulder and chest… with a milky white skin… he was perfect, like a marble sculpture done by some great artist from renaissance… He took me home in Antipolo, his mom and sister was there, “Ma, si Lex, boyfriend ko,” he introduced me to them… and though that caught me off guard… like, oh my god this is serious and somehow scared me, that was the defining moment for me which led me to decided, Tyler will be the one guy… and that this would be the relationship I have to get it right… specially that we are good in bed… like really, explosive… the sexual chemistry between us can be felt throughout the metropolis… unfortunately, that was all we have: sexual compatibility, elsewhere… we had nothing… and as much as we tried… eventually we decided to give up, we can’t build a relationship with just sex…
There is Nico, whom instead of him, I fell in love to his friend, and that friend liked me, but not enough to get pass all my shit…
Then there was Carlo, whom I was comfortable with… we are good friends… we are not trying to impress each other, no demands, no commitment… we are just really good friends who enjoys each other’s company… and for a while that was all we were… until, I guess we got tired of it and wanted more but too scared we are to ruin what we have… we had something good, really good, going and that we should have just stayed that way… but , I don’t know… the last time we were together, he broke the silence between us by saying, “siguro, okay na rin na ganito lang tayo… (I guess, this is okay just like this)” to which I wanted to contest but shut my mouth instead… Carlo, I guess would be the one in my life that got away…
There were other guys, a lot of other guys… Nick, who after I salivated for months and months and when suddenly we did, turned out to be one of my lousiest session… there’s Jay, who was me 10 years ago… then Earchel, who said I am his greatest love… so I guess, I was really lucky… considering, I am not at all good looking… sure, my last relationship was February—the TL from another program… but I have no cause to be to complain… sure my relationship didn’t last… but I had them… looking at myself in the mirror, I don’t even deserve to have any… and to think, my relationship hiatus is my choice, I am thirty years old, I no longer want to just rush in to a relationship anymore, on who is available and wants me… I want to get it right this time…
Sure, this will be another Christmas that I am single, but I rather that than with someone I am not sure off…
Or, as I am experiencing right now, he wanted to make the relationship work… probably, he feels he was too old for games already or short, failed relationship after the other is no longer fun… it’s no longer cute… if you turn thirty, at least speaking for myself, you want your next relationship to work and be stable, steady with one person… you get the feeling that, you have to get it right already… and that was me then to him… it was to him, no more games…
I was telling this to Allan, someone who thought I looked damn hot, basing on my pictures and can’t believe we have not met considering we worked in the same company, same building, just different floor… finally, after almost a year, I decided it was time—I forgot my house keys, and have to wait ‘til the sun is up to go home so not to wake people in the wee hours and be growled on…
And then I told him about the TL from the other program, the other site… How it lasted for five months… We barely see each other… barely made time for each other… that is the reason it lasted that long… we were together for five months because we were never really together…
Prior to that, there was the guy from my previous call center, the reason I left... the very cute and vain Mark, who when we finally broke up said to me, “di ko maramdaman na kailangan mo ako (I can’t feel you needing me),” to which I laughed and made him hate me…
The thing with Mark was his vanity… or perhaps, his insecurity… he is very cute, the moment I saw him, I was drooling over him… but I know my place, I know he is way out of my league… everybody is crushing over him and so, I figured, why would he go for me…? So I was not paying much attention to him… little did I know, that was the formula to get his attention… sort of, everybody is throwing themselves to him, why not me…? Vanity, he wanted everyone to like him, want him… and so he went to get me, to which I obliged willingly… this even if I know sharp looks were thrown to me, eyebrows go to orbit when I pass by… when he got me, no longer did he want me, and went flirting with other people in the same floor where I am taking calls…
So I knew back then, I figured out the deal… and learned not to care and just be thankful that I still get to sleep with one of the hottest guy in the office… I decided to take it as a privilege… and not care if he is dating, sleeping with someone else in the office… if he wants to leave, leave, if he wants to stay for a few more, that’s fine… I didn’t want to care… thus his infamous line to me when he finally decide we should part ways and that I laughed on it… which led me to resign…
Then there was Tyler… who I wouldn’t want to get naked in front of… a fitness instructor that he is, he sports a six pack abs, nicely chiseled arms, shoulder and chest… with a milky white skin… he was perfect, like a marble sculpture done by some great artist from renaissance… He took me home in Antipolo, his mom and sister was there, “Ma, si Lex, boyfriend ko,” he introduced me to them… and though that caught me off guard… like, oh my god this is serious and somehow scared me, that was the defining moment for me which led me to decided, Tyler will be the one guy… and that this would be the relationship I have to get it right… specially that we are good in bed… like really, explosive… the sexual chemistry between us can be felt throughout the metropolis… unfortunately, that was all we have: sexual compatibility, elsewhere… we had nothing… and as much as we tried… eventually we decided to give up, we can’t build a relationship with just sex…
There is Nico, whom instead of him, I fell in love to his friend, and that friend liked me, but not enough to get pass all my shit…
Then there was Carlo, whom I was comfortable with… we are good friends… we are not trying to impress each other, no demands, no commitment… we are just really good friends who enjoys each other’s company… and for a while that was all we were… until, I guess we got tired of it and wanted more but too scared we are to ruin what we have… we had something good, really good, going and that we should have just stayed that way… but , I don’t know… the last time we were together, he broke the silence between us by saying, “siguro, okay na rin na ganito lang tayo… (I guess, this is okay just like this)” to which I wanted to contest but shut my mouth instead… Carlo, I guess would be the one in my life that got away…
There were other guys, a lot of other guys… Nick, who after I salivated for months and months and when suddenly we did, turned out to be one of my lousiest session… there’s Jay, who was me 10 years ago… then Earchel, who said I am his greatest love… so I guess, I was really lucky… considering, I am not at all good looking… sure, my last relationship was February—the TL from another program… but I have no cause to be to complain… sure my relationship didn’t last… but I had them… looking at myself in the mirror, I don’t even deserve to have any… and to think, my relationship hiatus is my choice, I am thirty years old, I no longer want to just rush in to a relationship anymore, on who is available and wants me… I want to get it right this time…
Sure, this will be another Christmas that I am single, but I rather that than with someone I am not sure off…
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