Alezandro Mark by Alezandro Mark

3 days in training to be part of the software department, you may ask now what I have learned so far… but apparently, I could also answer nothing… that even if I miss those three days, I wouldn’t miss anything…

I am wanting to skip a day… at least a day… this is because for some reason my temperature keeps shooting up specially in the morning… I actually wake up with a temperature… that I just take in medication—Alaxan FR—to be functional… afraid, that if I don’t show up in training I will be missing things… plus, I am aiming to get a perfect attendance again, specially that, I plan to go on leave on Christmas week…

My mom called me to have my niece's passport ready… she plan to have her granddaughter flown to Dubai on the holidays… and that I would have to accompany her…

So training had been a breeze… actually, more of oh so boring… so boring, it is almost making me miss taking in sessions… we are not doing anything almost all through out training… which, the people who are still on the floor thinks lucky for me… maybe so, I am being paid to do nothing… if only it would be the case like forever but no… in two weeks time, I would be taking calls again, this time for the software department… How would I be able to resolve software issues of the customers, whom by the way, I be charging per incident?

I know our trainer since from when I was trained for the program’s hardware department, she used to seat in the class going about her work… She is nice and sweet and all but I don’t need nice and sweet… I need someone who can arm me with knowledge… Our TL is also worried… though have been with the software department before, before becoming a TL at the hardware department, and now is being sent back… after the class, she gathered us to give us a lowdown on what is going on at the floor… 3 TLs would apparently be dismissed from their post, tantamount to termination, for poor performance… which TLs are this, she decline to name names…

The thing is, they were stacked rank and this TLs are the bottom 3 on their metrics… a TL’s metric is dependent on their agents collective score or metrics… so if we go on the floor she needs us to perform as our performance would reflect on her and that she may face dismissal too… this even if she is aware that we are getting insufficient training… we need to find other ways to learn what is required at the software department…

I just got back to work… 1st day of training for the software department…

I was having a cigarette, as I always do before I go up the building, and the first person I see was Pot-Pot, my now former team mate with news, “ScreenShot got sacked over the weekend…” He informed me… ScreenShot was to go in at work, as usual, but when he tried to have his finger print scan, it wasn’t recognized... he reports it to his immediate supervisor as one should do or you won’t get paid… and there he found out… apparently, the reason his finger print was not recognized as he no longer work there…

Shocked… perhaps I shouldn’t be… I knew he was to be terminated for his offense… he was caught browsing gay porn in the office, there were screen shots—thus the nickname… He did it, was able to access this gay pornsite, by installing Flock on his system, which is another offense… and that it resulted to mass cracked down by the IT department on agents who installed Flock… so now about a dozen other agents or more were also subject for at least 10 days suspension as I am…

I should feel sorry for him… after all we have been team mates for quite sometimes—considering I have a new TL almost every month… because of this, being termed, he wouldn’t get his 13th month pay which is due, traditionally, at least, by the end of the month… even his benefits would be forfeited… but I don’t… as it was so stupid… browsing porn in the office!? Come on…! He could have at least, after doing so, clear browser history, but he didn’t… and when he got caught, he should have resigned and not wait… What, he was hoping they will have mercy on him…?

So stupid…! One must know when to quit… when it is a losing fight… plus, the shame… mind you, he denies being gay, even after the scandal... although, he does not have to admit it, we know so… and he wasn’t entirely nice even… I recalled him saying in ridicule to another former team mate, “you don’t have internet at home?! Ew…!” Yah, as if he is all that… It’s so stupid, why not do it at home—as his statement implies they have internet access at home—why risk it and use company facilities…?

Gossip, gossip, gossip… the call center industry is vicious on this… we love to talk… and that we talk a lot… as if we don’t do it all day (or night, for that matter) over the phone… we can’t help talking about our peers… I was waiting for the elevator, when a group of gay guys at the office came carrying their venti fraps from Starbucks… and they were talking about MAO… my baby MAO... Apparently, he have been in friction with one Will… I didn’t quite understand—I was busy picking up the pieces of my shattered heart—but it sort of Baby and this Will-Guy have something going on… but there is a friction recently as Vicky Gelo is getting insecure with all the attention this Will-Guy is getting, which is supposed to be his… Hmmmm…? Anyhow, the point is, the guy who was talking was supposed to Baby’s friend… well, I saw on facebook that they are, they text message each other…

Not that I wash my hand on this, I too gossip, as you could see here… I won’t even try to be self righteous… Just that, you never really know who your friends are…

First day training was boring, it almost made me miss taking in sessions… I think, they were slowly easing us down to our grave… nothing was discussed… I went to see Dax at the floor, Dada is on her off… I tried to confirm about the news—they were team mates—but he heard differently… they were told that ScreenShot was being transferred, too, to the software department… which if that was true… why was he not in training…?


And sometimes, you don’t know what to believe… as I mentioned at the previous entry… I was not supposed to be on the list of people forced to go to the software department… my TL said I was in quartile 1 so there was no way I would be on the list unless, as I allegedly did, do a letter of intent… but another former team mate who was the in the first batch that was transferred to the software department that I was on the list, that I was stacked ranked to be on the list…

Not that I should take her word against my own TL… but the point is… people assumes I was stacked ranked and was thrown out like most of the people of the first batch and on my class… Not that it should matter, I got what I wanted… I guess it is the price I should pay… anyway, even if I stayed, people would believe I was rather on the bottom quartile than the top quartile….

My phone is pretty decent and that it takes good pictures… if you see my pictures at my facebook, you’ll see it takes pictures very well… the thing is, it is a little run down, to the point that it is even tarnishing… and that if you see me, and not really know me… you would think I have a more state of the art phone… quite contrary to if you really know me, you will be surprise I even have a cellphone… which is the primary reason why it took this long before I got myself a different phone, despite my very old phone randomly blacking out on me…

Not that I don’t like cellphones… I am just someone who does not like texting… and I don’t fancy being contacted by people… I always regard my phone as something I can use to contact people if I need to contact them… it’s for my convenience… and not the other way around—for people to be able to contact me, for other people’s convenience… I leave my phone at home… and even if I am home, it is just somewhere in my room, alarming on certain time to wake me up 2 hours before my scheduled shift—quite expensive for an alarm clock, I must say… and to take pictures of myself, in bed… before sleeping and after I wake up… that is why it is expensive…

So, I wasn’t eager to get myself a new phone… what I think I wanted was a portable play station a.k.a. PSP… not that I am a gamer… I am not a gamer… although I did extremely enjoy a game of Prince of Persia (?)—Kitin and a cousin owns a PSP and when I got my hand on it, I found myself not willing to put it down… I want a PSP mainly because it seemed so cool… but Architect rebuffed, “do you still have time to play?” but then again, it seemed just so cool to have…

So, I was thinking of getting myself a camera… a decent SLR camera for beginners, I guess... hoping the phrase “for beginner” will spell cheaper… and pick up photography as a hobby… but I have not fully resolve that and so I just concluded it will be too expensive…

Then Architect mentioned he have a friend who is selling his Iphone 2G… and said he could loan me the money first…

It was a no brainer… there goes my 13th month pay…

We fought for it… for good reasons... my arguments are indisputable…

As per stack rank of all agents as per score cards, say, there is a hundred agent, it will be quartered thus quartile 1 which are the top 25, then quartile 2, which will be 26 to 50, up to quartile 4… Now, our department won’t give the software department their top agents, that’s common sense… but also, the software department won’t have the bottom agents… again, common sense… so, the vulnerable group are the agents listed under quartile 2 and 3… I was neither on those two quartiles, nor was in the bottom quartile… I was actually, at the first quartile… I maybe at the bottom of that quartile, but I was still on the league of top agents…

Furthermore, I have pending disciplinary actions… and as per company’s code of conduct, one can’t be promoted or transferred from one post to another if that someone have a pending disciplinary action due… or something like that… it was actually the reason why I wasn’t on the first batch, they rejected me for that reason…

So this is unnatural… me getting transferred to the software department… this is not fate, I forced myself to it… I am swimming against the current… and it is scaring the shit out of me…! things are what they are for a reason… and I am going against that reason… this could hurt me…


I would miss my current team… my team lead… with all due respect to all the TLs I had, TL Imee is the best… for the first time, not only in this company, but my whole call center career, I am aware of my metrics… in control of my scores… on my performance… on the things I need to work on… she was not my boss, she made me feel we were equals… we were friends… I never had lunch with any of my numerous former bosses… I have not been friends to any of them… well, except AJ… but not like this with TL Imee… she tends to bring the best out of me… No TL of mine had managed to do that with such ease and comfort… there way was to try to break my thick skull and get in there which really, it doesn’t work that way, at least not to me… I’ll battle you out, and if you defeat me… that’s it, you are the winner, I am a looser… Loosing TL Imee alone as my boss makes me feel like this is all a mistake… and that it is scaring me…



They keep reminding me that I wanted this… yes, I did and I still do… but it doesn’t mean either that I wanted to leave…

Correct me if I am wrong…

To get a 2 for total solution, I should get 6% RPC (rate per call)… which is total net revenue divided by total number of calls… Now, I average around 15 sessions a day… so that will be .06 multiplied by 15… that will be .9… therefore, I should I have a net revenue of $90 a day… so around 450$ a week… and there are, 4 weeks in a month… which means, to pass, I should have a net revenue of $1800 before November ends…

How much am I being paid again, monthly?

Suddenly, I was lucky making sales… this after I decided I won’t have sales my focus stats… convinced that I don’t have to… this after I computed my score card for October and finding out that I pass despite failing sales flat… As in, we have 1-2-3 point system, 1 as the lowest, 2 as passing, and 3 as the highest score… Both sales metrics—there are two—with 20% each were scored 1… but being my attendance at 2.5, I had one late—damn alarm clock, a.k.a. my cellphone… I scored 2 with my handle time, and 3 with my customer experience… when I computed it using a ready formula on excel we have, I scored 2.1 which may not be great but nonetheless passing… and that I should be happy considering two of my metric got 1 for a score… right?

So even before I tried to confirm this with my TL, that I don’t have to pass both sale metric, I was resolute not to focus on them… rather I will focus on my other remaining metrics, and scoring 3… in addition, I argued, that if I continue focusing on the sales metric, pushing for sales, it may affect my handle time and my customer experience score negatively… I should just maintain them or better them rather than gamble them to pass my area of improvements—the two sale metrics… It makes perfect sense, right?

So, I went back to work complacent about sales… I don’t have to… not that I don’t plan to make any attempts… I still plan to as… I get a certain high whenever I make a sale… there is something about it that makes me feel so empowered, feeling so good about myself… as if I am one damn good agent! So, I will still attempt to make sales, offering things to customer, even if for QA purposes only… if the customer says no, re-battle is out of the question… That is the mindset… that is my strategy to pass…

Of course, it was squashed by my TL… mainly because, she explains, customer experience or CE score is unpredictable… this is customer satisfaction survey, and it is, as almost every call center worker knows, is a luck game, thus very tricky… specially that most of the customers thinks that the survey is about the company not the agent… I can’t expect to maintain a 3 score… and if I don’t, I barely passed October with 2.1, so one false move, it would fail… then later that day, she said she computed it, it won’t work if it is calculated per quarter…

But despite this, I was resolute… thinking, it is impossible to pass the sale metric, at least for me, someone who got fired from his first call center job because of sales… I am just to offer, if the customer says no, that’s it… so I offered, the customer said yes… making my first sale after 4 weeks… then the next day, I offered again, and one of the customer said yes again… I went on a 1 day off… then got back, offered, and the customer agreed to order…

Yes, like wow…!

Now, I am worried about my CE, with me expecting to maintain 3… I think it cuts both ways, the least I expect the higher the chances it would come, the more I expect, the least chance it won’t… Like today, it got in to me, I would make a sale for 4 consecutive work days… of course, I didn’t…

I almost always feel I am too old to be boy crazy and have crushes… I am after all th-th-th-th-irty! (that was tough to say!) But, I think I actually have every right now to be boy crazy for the same reason, because of my age… it’s almost dawn…

Not that I have been boy crazy when I was younger… Sure, I did sleep around and that there is nothing you have done in bed that I can’t say been there, done that—what, I’m gay!?! But never really was I boy crazy… Which, I think is the primary reason why, I have not end up, not even have slept with the guys I felt intense feelings for… sure, I had numerous relationship, from serious to what-his-name-again… but I never have… Oh, there was Nick…! Funny, that one…

Nick and I frequented one of the blue bars before, and that though he was the one who first approach me, the moment I saw him, I felt it… I was in love with him… I know what he wanted when he approached me that night, he wanted to coax me to bed… but because I was having all this feelings for him… I played hard to get, thinking we should know each other better first… refusing to be just one of those guys in his life… but after months and months, I realize that, no matter what I do, I am to him just one of those guys he just want to bang… and so, I did… and that was the end of it… he was totally bad in bed… what is more funny is, I saw him again in the office… at least his picture… he worked for the same company, same program… one of my boss actually knew him… it’s a gay world after all, I guess…

Anyhow…


Well, there’s Kina and Emerald… Emerald my almost intolerable gay team mate… crushing on Ghelo and Kina, crushing on one of the Execs… seeing them, being kilig-kilig and all, like teenage catholic school girls, complete with shrieking, made me miss how it is… and there’s the season to be marry fast approaching… and that realization that the last relationship I had ended way back February… I have to be in love again!

No-no-no… I don’t think I want to be in a relationship… but if you insist, the least you can do is try to see me again, always and not just send me mushy text messages, com’on…! Make me fall in love…! I just want that feeling… that rush of seeing your crush… that shortness of breath whenever he is around… those sleepless nights you spend thinking of him…

Well, there’s Y at the office… another funny story, Y is actually second choice, not that he isn’t cute…! Y is very cute… with a cap on, without the cap… not so much… but who am I to be choosy…? I think it was the reason why the queen fairies in the floor left him to me…

There are four queen fairies at the office, in our department… and I fondly call them Sang’gre, based on the famed Encantadia, a fantaserye (fantasy telenovella) over at GMA 7… There’s Amihan, he is the eldest… Pirena, the feistiest among the four… Alena, the kindess… and Danaya, the youngest… except Pirena, the three others had been my team mates when they were still agents, and that I have somehow developed kinship with Alena and Danaya… now they are all officers, Pirena and Danaya becoming the eyes above all agents…

This was January-February this year… I was with Amihan having dinner at the bridge, and that over the next table were the newbies, handled by Danaya… One of the newbie caught my eyes and so the next time I saw Danaya, who is always with Alena, I told them… Automatically, they said no… and that I should have known Danaya have already claimed that newbie as his and that the newbie is already forbidden… I wouldn’t dare anger a Sang’gre… not specially Danaya… almost at the same time, I also spotted Y, who was a coming back agent from being a tech review in Makati… I also thought he was cute, until he took off his cap… “You are so bad…” Alena would say to me… but really, Y is just cute with a cap on… without the cap, not so… one would even say he looks awkward without a cap… and that was how I was relegated to Y, because the newbie is already Danaya’s pet…

The newbie was Ghelo… who Emerald is head over heels, fearless of the wrath of Danaya… but then Danaya have already moved on to a newer newbie… he still favors Ghelo, but no longer does he forbid any other fairies to lust over him and try to still him in vain… I, on the other hand, stayed loyal to Y… this despite, like Ghelo, he proves to be elusive to fairies… and that I can only worship him from a far…


So there goes my love life…

There was an email at work, calling out on those who want to transfer to the software division… I have been in the hardware division since last year when I started in the company… and so the temptation of the challenge got into me… I want to… I heard it is a tough gig, it is the toughest division in the program, but I was willing to hit the wall… sure, it’s sales—they charge for the service—but then so is my division, it was not so when I started, but we are now…

I argued, there: pay first before exerting effort to resolve their issues, at my present department, you already did everything you can, resolve their issue and bend backward to kiss their ass and still no sale… It has been 3 weeks since my last sale… going 4th week, the last sale was even just a lucky call… I suck on sales, I think, it was, the reason I was put in this program despite not having computer background… I told them in my interview… I suck on sales big time, that was the reason I got fired from my first call center job… and that though I am willing to be trained for it and try my luck again on another sales program, I would appreciate not to… so here I am… a year later, the program is integrating sales, like troubleshooting computers isn’t challenging enough…

Its total solutions, I am a one stop shop… after troubleshooting we get into conclusion that your operating system is corrupted and you need to back up your files, “I can process an order for an external hard drive for you…?” You need your warranty extended and upgraded, “let me call you to process it for you…” Your system is so slow, “let us maximize your system’s memory to speed it up! Shall we?”


I basically just want to broaden up my horizon, tackle software… I know hardware already… I just know, not exactly an expert… not on the list of top agents in the program… but I know what is what when it comes to hardware… I wanted to be an all around agent… an agent who knows about hardware and software… transferring there will be a good opportunity in my career not only as a call center agent but as a computer technician…

I wanted to… but I am also self aware, as I mentioned above, I am not exactly on the list of top agent in the division… that is the reason why I didn’t pass a letter of intent… anyway, in the email they need 30 agents to be transferred, if nobody volunteers, they will choose the people to be transferred by manner of stack rank… so I thought, I would just leave it all to fate… rather than risking having eyebrows launch to orbit and be think off as pompous… I left it to fate, thinking if really, I should be on the software division, I would be one of those people they would transfer…

I was not on the list… or so, I thought, until the final date and the list of agents to be transferred was finalized, “You submitted an LOI?” my technical mentor asked… I didn’t… he showed me the list and indeed I was on the list, next to it was LOI… I swore I didn’t… secretly happy, that I am on the list… I will be transferred…! But then, it was quickly crashed… I can’t be transferred to another division as I have outstanding disciplinary action… 10 days suspension yet to be served… damn it!

I was charged for call avoidance last March… I was unintentionally dodging sessions… I almost got fired for it, but they took pity and just gave me a 10 days suspension, which to this day is yet to be served… I should just be thankful…

I swear, I didn’t submit a letter of intent for that reason, precisely… I didn’t want to be rejected… but there it was…

My TL messaged me the next day, telling me that I might still be able to transfer… we just need to serve the 10 days suspension… we can do that the whole month of November… we cannot do a 10 days straight but we can have it by three a week… It will be a blow on my paycheck… but it will just be in time for the thirteenth month pay and the performance assessment bonus, which I am crossing my fingers, it passed… still a theory, my TL told me when I came back to work, but the argument is pretty strong: rather than forcing people to transfer, it would be better if the agent is willing… a.k.a me…

My TL went to IM one of the big boss at the software department, I know her… The lady big boss was actually the one who made it possible for me to go back to work last January… she was later transferred to the software department… she was asking why they are throwing me to them… rather skeptical of my TL’s intention, perhaps thinking they were trying to get rid of me… which somehow, at the back of my mind, I can’t stop wondering that perhaps maybe, the hardware department is indeed really is just trying to get rid of me… but I should not care about that…

We got a maybe… which is good… it may not be as good as a yes… but it is something… it’s no guarantee, my TL reiterated with the question of if we should go ahead serving all of the 10 days suspension in just 1 month (we could do it 1 a week, which was the original plan so not to hurt my finances)… I said yes… we are to go with serving the suspension this November… I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed…

It was a nice boxer shorts, and that I do like to wear nice, sometimes sexy, under wears… it maybe pricey to some—it’s 450 pesos, that’s one shirt—but then I am a single call center agent, who have no one to support, not to mention gay, 450 is nothing… but then, sure it looks nice, hanging there on the store, clipped on both side at the garter… but I don’t think it would have the same effect if it were already clinging on my flabby waist… perhaps then, when I was a few pounds lighter… my stomach, flatter… it will just be all too frustrating… that regardless how much I dance—my code to working out to make it sound tolerable—I am still flabby in the afternoon… funny, when I was young, everybody thought I am so skinny, my grandmother’s last mission in earth—as it seemed she made it so—was to fatten me up… too bad she had not live to see this day… this day that I am actually struggling to lower my weight…

I left the shop frustrated, having the money to buy the boxers but couldn’t… I shouldn’t… I thought I should buy myself a new bag… it has been a month since I bought my last bag—it was right after Ondoy, it’s a Girbaud bag—I know, it may seemed awfully insensitive of me to afford myself luxury when everybody is suffering, but I suffered too and the bag was my stress reliever…

I do love bags… nothing really luxurious like designers, but I do like bags… it’s my shoes as to Carrie Bradshaw or standing in front of Tiffany’s window as to Holly Golightly… If I feel stressed and frustrated, it is shopping for a new bag that lifts me up… but I went around the mall and had not seen a bag nice enough to capture me… that is a requirement for me, an item should capture me in one glance, I, after all grew up in the 90s, I have short term attention… I walk in a shop, go around, glance on what they have, if nothing catches my attention, I go out… I keep shopping that simple, I see something I like, I take a closer look, then buy it… Kitin would tell me to go look around first, I don’t do that… I don’t do window shopping… It sort of complicates things… having so many choices complicates things… so if I see something and it is in the budget, meaning I have enough cash on me to buy it, I buy it right there and then… no more looking around other stores…

I didn’t see a bag… I saw shoes… I hate shopping for shoes… mainly because I have freakishly small feet… more often than not, I don’t choose shoes, I simply asked the sales clerk if they carry anything on my size… and usually they don’t or they direct me to the ladies department or kids… the shoe I saw is a pink sneakers… I was eyeing a pink Chuck Taylor, but I was at Bench… I thought it will do but then again, there was the question of size… and as usual they don’t have my size on the pink… but they do with the yellow… 800 hundred pesos… good deal, I guess…

But just right before I was the exit the store, I saw this shirt… olive green with gold stitching… I have to have it, I thought, at the same time hearing my mom’s voice at the back of my head “you just bought a shirt earlier, and the day before, and the day before the day before…”, “So what!?” I answered, the sales lady looked at me discerningly… I took the shirt from her and went in to try it… It was perfect… it was for 350 pesos…

“Pants po…?” asked the girl…

Yah, I had not bought a pair since forever… but I remember I am wearing a size 30 pants… I asked for 1 for a faded, slim cut jeans… try it on… rather, I try to try it on… It made me want to cry… nice size 30 jeans no longer fit me… (I am wearing a size 30 jeans but I think through time it have loosen up so it is able to accommodate my body… just that my fly always rides down if I seat).

I decided to look straight and out of the store, out of the building… and get myself home…